Have you ever wondered why behaviours of concern seem to happen more often, and more intensely, over time? This blog post will explore the way that behaviour is shaped, and - equally - the way that different, more prosocial behaviours can be learned.
You may have noticed that the first time your child behaved in a challenging way, it was unexpected - you might even have described it to have come "out of nowhere". But now, you can fairly reliably tell when it's going to happen? The truth is, all behaviour happens for a reason - it's the child's best way of communicating an unmet need. They might have language difficulties, sensory processing differences and/or neurodiversity - all of which mean that they may struggle to express themselves using their words, or that they are living in a world that often feels uncertain, overwhelming and unsafe.
When a child engages in a behaviour of concern, the likelihood of it occurring again is - broadly - based on whether or not it gains a desirable outcome. In other words, whether the outcome of the behaviour is that their underlying needs are met in some way. Behaviours that meet the underlying need are more likely to occur again - this is called "reinforcement". When a behaviour does not meet the underlying need, or even results in an unpleasant outcome, this is called "punishment". It is important to note that the key difference is what happens to the behaviour - behaviours that increase have been reinforced, whereas behaviours that decrease have been punished. It is possible to implement something that you think is likely to be a punishment (e.g. a "time out"), but that if this is a desirable outcome for the child, it actually ends up being reinforcement. For example, if you asked your child to clean their room, they became aggressive and so you placed them on the naughty step, they've actually not been required to clean their room - which may indeed be a very desirable outcome for the child, making it more likely that they will engage in the same behaviour of concern in the future!
And this links in with something we call the "ABC Cycle of Behaviour". The situation that the behaviour occurs in is called the "antecedent (A)". This just means it's the thing that sets the behaviour off - being asked to do something they don't want to do, being told "no", being in a situation they find overwhelming, etc. When the child engages in the behaviour of concern, this results in a desirable change to the environment in some way - it might result in: you leaving them alone and no longer asking them to do something they don't want to do; you giving them something that they want/need; you offering them interaction and connection, etc. If the outcome is desirable, the behaviour is more likely to occur under the same conditions in the future. Over time, if this cycle is repeated, the behaviour becomes more and more likely to occur under these conditions.
The good news is that there are two main ways that you can prevent the behaviour of concern from occurring - but these both rely on you understanding why the behaviour is occurring in the first place. Without understanding the unmet need, it is not possible to meet it. You may need support in identifying what the unmet need is for your child - in which case, please get in touch with us via the 'contact' tab so that we can support you.
Once you have identified the unmet need, you can either teach your child a different way of meeting that need, or you can meet the need proactively so that the behaviour doesn't occur. We like to use the phrase "happy people don't hit people" - if the need is already met, there will be no reason for the behaviour to occur. For example, if your child finds a certain situation overwhelming, you may offer them regular breaks, make adjustments to the setting to make it more tolerable, give the child ways of coping with the situation or - if possible - not expect them to entertain the situation in the first place. By doing this, the child is never in the situation in which they need to communicate their needs through the behaviour of concern in the first place.
The alternative is to teach the child a different way of meeting that need, and then "reinforce" the alternative means of communication. To use the example above, if a child is in a situation that they find overwhelming, you might give them a "break" card; if the child hands you the "break" card, it means they want to leave and should be supported to do so. When teaching this, you will need to prompt the child to use it when you notice "early warning signs" - signs of them starting to become uncomfortable, before the behaviour of concern occurs. This will help them to realise that using the "break" card is just as effective (often, more effective) in meeting their needs than engaging in behaviours of concern. You can then introduce a delay tolerance, helping the child to tolerate the fact that it may not always be possible to leave the situation immediately - you would start with a delay of 1 second, for example, and build up to a few minutes over time.
We hope this article gives you a starting point for understanding and changing your child's behaviours of concern. However, if you need any support with implementing this advice and guidance, we would welcome you to get in touch via the "contact" form!
It is important to make the caveat that before attempting to change behaviour, medical reasons for the behaviour should always be addressed first. This is for two reasons: one being that it is often easier and quicker to meet a medical need than it is to change behaviour through reinforcement, and the other being because no behavioural intervention is likely to be effective if the medical need is not met. If you suspect that your child is engaging in the behaviour of concern to communicate pain or discomfort (e.g. toothache, migraines, ear ache, constipation, etc.), please see your GP straight away, and before trying anything else.