We've all heard it before: "ignore it, he/she is just attention seeking" - it's the go-to phrase of many parents, professionals and members of the public that may not have a full understanding of why behaviours of concern occur and how they're maintained. In this article, we'll help you unpick whether the behaviour of concern is really occurring in order to obtain interaction, or whether there might be an entirely different reason that the behaviour occurs.
The first thing to note is that we will be using the terms "interaction" and "connection" in place of attention during this article. This is for two reasons: firstly, the word "attention" has too many links to the classic "attention-seeking" phrase, which can be taken as blaming and dismissive of the child's underlying needs. Secondly, because it is not enough to simply say that a behaviour is maintained by attention - we need to uncover what type of attention, by whom and under what conditions, is most meaningful to the child if we are going to help to change the behaviour.
It is important to recognise that some behaviours do occur in order to obtain interaction. This is particularly the case if your child is very attached to you, seeks out interaction regularly, struggles to occupy themselves and needs you to offer 1:1 support a lot of the time. We must stress that interaction and connection are basic human requirements - we're all sociable, and we're hardwired to seek connection with others. Building connections and working together has helped us to survive through the caveman era, and it's something that's built into our DNA. And whilst you or I might be able to text a friend to arrange meeting up for a coffee, or chat to our colleagues during our lunchbreak, the children and service users we support are often a lot more isolated - quite often, you are their primary source of connection. So it's no wonder they seek that from you!
However, it's also important to recognise when a behaviour may not be maintained by attention. And there are four main "functions" of behaviour - reasons why behaviours of any shape or form may occur, including behaviours of concern:
Sensory - whereby the behaviour in and of itself meets an underlying sensory need. E.g. hand flapping, rocking, tapping your leg, biting your nails, etc. This is often called "automatic reinforcement", because it's not about the people around that individual doing anything as a result of the behaviour occurring, it's about the way that the sensory system is impacted by the behaviour itself.
Tangible - whereby the behaviour gains access to a specific item or activity. E.g. the iPad, going out in the car, food, etc.
Escape - whereby the behaviour gets the person out of doing something they don't want to do, or an environment in which they feel overwhelmed, anxious or unsafe.
Attention - whereby the behaviour results in access to interaction or connection.
Medical - whereby the behaviour alleviates pain, or is communicating discomfort, e.g. a child hitting their head against a wall to create temporary relief from a migraine.
Quite often, we misinterpret behaviours of concern as being maintained by attention when in fact they are maintained by one of the other functions. This is because when individuals engage in behaviours of concern, it tends to result in the parents, carers and staff around them doing something. Naturally, if someone is harming themselves or others, we step in to help. But this doesn't mean that it's the attention itself that is the reason why the behaviour occurred. It may be the case that a child in a busy classroom is feeling overwhelmed so they hit a teacher - this could result in two other teachers attending to the child and escorting them out of the room. But the underlying need in that situation was related to escape - the child needed to get out of the room, which was a situation that they found overwhelming. The fact that two teachers attended to them was only a means to an end, in order to get out of the classroom. It wasn't the teaching staff's attention that the child was seeking.
So next time your child engages in behaviours of concern, take a second to reflect: "are they actually "attention seeking", or are they trying to communicate something else entirely?". And if they're trying to communicate something else, check out our blog post titled "why does challenging behaviour get worse over time" to understand what you can do to shape and change behaviour. Or, of course, get in touch with us via the 'contact' form on our website to book in for a consultation!